Tuesday 28 July 2009

babies; gurgling

Wodehouse. Been a while:
A young woman of singular beauty and rather statuesque appearance came out of the club-house carrying a baby swaddled in flannel. As she drew near the table she said to the baby:
'Chicketty wicketty wicketty wipsey pop!'
In other respects her intelligence appeared to be above the ordinary.
'Isn't he a darling!' she said, addressing the Oldest Member.
The Sage cast a meditative eye upon the infant. Except to the eye of love, it looked like a skinned poached egg.
'Unquestionably so,' he said.
'Don't you think he looks more like his father every day?'
For a brief instant, the Oldest Member seemed to hesitate.

Shortly afterwards, the Oldest Member explains to a third party...
'Here is the picture I wished to show you. That is Ramsden Waters, the husband of the lady who has just left us.'
The portrait which he indicated was that of a man in the early thirties. Pale saffron hair surmounted a receding forehead. Pale blue eyes looked out over a mouth which wore a pale, weak smile, from the centre of which protruded two teeth of rabbit-like character.
'Golly! What a map!' exclaimed the young man at his side.
'Precisely!' said the Oldest Member. 'You now understand my momentary hesitation in agreeing with Mrs Waters. I was torn by conflicting emotions. On the one hand, politeness demanded that I confirm any statement made by a lady. Common humanity, on the other hand, made it repugnant to me to knock an innocent child.'

No comments: